Seven Deadly Sins

Superbia, Invidia, Ira, Accidia, Avaritia, Gula and Luxuria might be company and product names from the lexicon of some naming and branding specialist in the Vatican.

But no, these are the Latin names of the seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Avarice, Gluttony and Lust. The first letters of these words form the medieval Latin word saligia, from which the verb saligiare (to commit a deadly sin) is taken.

These are sometimes called capital sins, or cardinal sins. But a cardinal sin is not to be confused with a mortal sin, or with Cardinal Sin, as in Cardinal Sin to miss papal elections.

We also learned that Cardinal Sin was considered papabile.

Papabile (plural: Papabili) is an unofficial Italian term first coined by Vaticanologists and now used internationally in many languages to describe cardinals of whom it is thought likely or possible that they will be elected pope. A convenient English translation would be “popeable”, “one worthy of the position of pope” or “possible (or likely) successor to the pope”.

Cardinal Sin could have chosen the name Pope Saligia, if elected.

Oh, by the way, I’m “guest blogging” over with the lawyers again today if you want to read a serious post about Cardinal Law and the Benefit of Clergy.

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Mercedes and alphanumeric car names

Oh Lord won’t you buy me a AMG Coupe CLK 55: Mercedes has long named their car models using alphanumerics. It’s a system we’ve commented on before that is used by most luxury automotive brands (save Rolls Royce) designed to direct the bulk of brand equity to the Mercedes brand name rather than to a particular model. It’s very effective when you need consumers to remember three basic concepts and one or two specialty offshoots. Audi and BMW get there with the 4|6|8 and 3|5|7 designations, respectively.

Mercedes, however, is trying to get consumers to associate alphanumeric labels with nine-plus different ideas.

The bare basics are: C-Class, E-Class, S-Class, CLK-Class, CL-Class, SLK-Class, SL-Class, M-Class, G-Class, with a sprinkling of AMGs, SLRs, CDIs and MLs tossed-in where needed for greater obfuscation. And those are just the alpha vegetables in the alphanumeric soup.

Here is the whole 36-car pile up: C230 Kompressor Sport Coupe, C230 Kompressor Sport Sedan, C240 Luxury Sedan, C240 Luxury Wagon, C320 Sport Coupe, C320 Luxury Sedan, C320 Sport Sedan, C55 AMG, E320 Sedan, E320 CDI, E320 Wagon, E500 Sedan, E500 4MATIC Wagon, E55 AMG, S430 Sedan, S500 Sedan, S55 AMG, S600 Sedan, CLK320 Coupe, CLK320 Cabriolet,CLK500 Coupe, CLK500 Cabriolet, CLK55 AMG Coupe, CLK55 AMG Cabriolet, CLS500 Coupe, CLS55 AMG, CL500 Coupe, CL55, AMG CL600, Coupe, CL65 AMG, SLK 350 Roadster, SLK55 AMG Roadster, SL500 Roadster, SL55 AMG, SL600 Roadster, SL65 AMG, ML350 SUV, ML350 SUV Special Edition, ML500 SUV, ML500 SUV Special Edition, G500 SUV, G55 AMG, and SLR McLaren 4MATIC.

The vehicles are priced between $25,850 and $452,750, and the names do nothing towards differentiating one from the other; so bye-bye “envy” sales factor. Why pay a hundred and fifty big ones for a car that everyone thinks cost thirty? That’s no fun.

Cadillac, in its quest to muscle Mercedes aside has jumped into the fray with the vehicle “names” ESV, EXT, ETS, SRX and XLR, basking in the image mingling.

The only people crazy enough to learn and love the distinctions between the Mercedes C-Class, E-Class, S-Class, CLK-Class, CL-Class, SLK-Class, SL-Class, M-Class, G-Class, AMG, SLR, CDI and ML spend the remainder of their time playing “Prince of Persia, Warrior Within” on the Xbox and aren’t likely to purchase a car without parental consent.

Here is how some of the hairs are split:

C-Class Overview
The Mercedes-Benz C-Class offers more value and choice than ever before with the most models and body styles to choose from, and MSRPs starting under $30,000.

E-Class Overview
Offering European sophistication and performance, the exhilarating Mercedes-Benz E-Class combines the best of sedan luxury with the comfort of a wagon.

S-Class Overview
The premier luxury sedan in the world, the S-Class is the unparalleled expression of elegance, technological innovation, charismatic styling and pure driving pleasure.

CLK-Class Overview
Available in both luxury convertible and pillarless coupe models, the CLK-Class is one of the world’s most desirable and exhilarating forms of pure driving pleasure.

CLS-Class Overview
The CLS-Class redefines what a coupe can be. It offers expressive style, poised performance, a 4-seat cabin, but with four doors.

CL-Class Overview
The CL-Class is not just a distinctive and exclusive leader in the luxury coupe market. With its intense performance and refined style, it demands to be driven.

SLK-Class Overview
From its muscular stance inspired by Formula One racing to its athletic performance, the SLK-Class roadster delivers aggressive sports car styling and an exhilarating driving experience

SL-Class Overview
The Mercedes-Benz SL-Class is the latest incarnation of an unmatched automotive legacy, combining unrivaled technological excellence, passionate performance and timeless elegance into flawless perfection.

M-Class Overview
The M-Class is an ever-ready companion whose exemplary design, comprehensive safety features and unmatched versatility make it perfect for active and adventurous lifestyles.

On the edge of your seat for the Mercedes definitions behind G-Class, AMG, SLR, CDI and ML? Of course not — it’s too much work and there’s no reward — two things luxury should never be.

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Blog Name Generator

Mike Morgan, is having a blog-identity crisis. His weblog is suffering with the insufferable name I-Tach.

Being a lurker around Wordlab from time to time, Mike turned to our massive archives for fresh ideas and found a short list of names he thinks might work. And he was nice enough to give credit to Wordlab for these ideas; so we’re giving him space here to bring his problem to the attention of those best equipped to give him the free naming and branding input he desperately needs.

November 29, 2004

Your Input, Please: Blog Identity Crisis

I’m stuck and seek your wise counsel, dear readers…

A couple months ago, I wanted to start a blog. I didn’t think I’d be able to write enough interesting content to maintain a “general interest” blog. I didn’t think my life was interesting enough (and I have a tough time opening up emotionally) to write a “diary blog”. And a “link blog”, well, that’s just plain boring. So when I started the I-Tach Weblog, my idea was for it to be “specialty blog” centered around emergency department nursing — E.D. war stories, nursing tips and tricks, E.D. and nursing humor, et cetera and so on.

Well, guess what? My ocean of unique E.D. knowledge turned out to be more like a wading pool of knowledge. I shot that wad quickly. [Insert hokey, overdone ‘frown’ smiley here]

Instead, I found myself writing political and current events commentary, offering a tutorial on making the world’s best fake fart noise, posting humorous stuff I’ve found, and even starting to talk about a few personal items such as my adoption or our family dog getting hit by a car earlier this month.

So now I’m stuck and need your help.

December 14, 2004

Your Input, Please: New Blog Name

Thanks to your input, I’m currently rewriting the template and style for the blog. I’ll also be changing the name… I think “I-Tach” is funny as Hell, but I’ve slowly realized that it’s pretty much an inside joke, lost on most visitors.

Call me a lemming, but I like blogs with titles that make me grin. So I stopped by one of my favorite-but-only-occasionally-visited sites, WordLab, in search of inspiration. As a writer and famous-in-my-own-mind funny guy, several phrases caught my eye. Some have the potential to be a nifty blog name, some are simply punny.

So here are the phrases that I jotted down to use as inspiration for a name…

The Babble Belt
Textual Relations
Birth of a Notion
Blarney Rubble
Peanut Buddha and Jesus
Peek-A-Buddha
Capital Punmanship
Carmel Knowledge
Consummate Confessional
Cup and Chaucer
Devastating the Obvious
Flying Chaucer
English as a Fecund Language
Just Say Know
Just a Flash in the Pants
New World Odor
Grump Up The Volume
Leaves of Crass
Duct Tape and Cover
Lingo Weenie
Jack Of All Tirades
Know Way, Know How
A Norse is a Norse (of course, of course)

What do y’all think? I see potential in a couple of these, others are just too funny to let go unpublicized. Do you have another name suggestion? The name I’m working with during the redesign is A Cacophany of Miscellany, which I think is a pretty good fit with the [Fill In Your Opinion of My Writing Here] I post.

Then again, I may throw all this to the wind and go out on a limb naming it Mike Morgan in anticipation of my inevitable fame and fortune!

If you’ve got any good blog name ideas for Mike, just wander over to his weblog and add your two cents worth there.

As good as the archive lists and Forums are at Wordlab, Mike and others like him who are really stuck for a great blog name might also want to try the Band & Song Name Generator. This tool from the Musician’s Friend can be a very creative blog name regurgitator when put to the task. Here are a few more suggestions worthy of consideration:

Pleasurable Blog
Victoria’s Secretions
Red Flour
Frozen Boyfriend
Land of the Blog
Blog of the Impossible
Blog of the Tangerine
Resisting Blog
Nurse King of the Pleasurable Drool
Nipple of the Farting Earth
Eighth of the Blog
Goggles Blog
Filthy Blog
Nice Blog
Blog Flab
Blog Raspberry
Nurse Parakeet
Malignant Nurse
Rubber Nurse
Screaming Nurse
Blog Juniper
Social Blog
Blog Defaulted
Blog Mistress
Wet Nurse

Thanks to web sifter extraordinaire John Walkenbach for figuring this creative application would be great for generating blog names.

Check out Wordlab’s extensive collection of Name Generators next time you need a name for your blog or anything else.

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Automotive naming by numbers

The naming convention recently announced by Intel for its new processors is similar to that of carmaker BMW, which is acknowledged by Intel. In fact, it is reported that Intel discussed its plans with BMW before adopting the new naming by numbers, “with an eye to respecting another company’s intellectual property.”

But BMW is not the only automobile manufacturer that uses “numerology” to brand its marques. Perhaps no automotive brand has a more established tradition of using a numerical sequence to distinguish its models than does Peugeot. As far back as 1929, the French automaker began this regimen with the introduction of the Peugeot 201 at the Paris Auto Show. Since then, they’ve brought these memorable cars to market: 201, 301, 401, 601, 302, 402, 202, 203, 403, 404, 204, 504, 304, 104, 604, 305, 505, 205, 309, 405, 905, 605, 106, 306, 206, 406, 806, 607, 307, 807, and the 407. As might be evident to those trained in branding by numbers, all of these models have the distinctive 0 strategically placed in the center of the model number. Some consider it a “signature” of the famous brand.

The 3-digit identity is an essential component of Peugeot’s brand identity. Conveying a very positive image for the company, the system evokes quality, technology and performance. Approved by customers around the world, this numbering system operates as a sign of recognition and makes it easy to differentiate between models in the range: a central zero with a number on either side. It has not changed since the launch of the 201, and provides three items of information about the model concerned:

The first number indicates the family to which the vehicle belongs, its size in the range. The second digit — always 0 — is the link between the number denoting membership of a particular family and that denoting a particular generation. The third figure indicates the generation of the model.

[source: For Peugeot, Numbers are Sacred…]

Logical, yes; memorable, no. To naming and branding mavericks, it might seem that the Peugeot brand is stuck in some sort of rut. But that’s hardly the case. Recently, Peugeot announced some exciting changes in the brand’s traditional naming system.

[I]n response to market fragmentation and the consequent need for a wider range of products, each with strong distinguishing features, Peugeot has decided to expand its naming system by doubling the central 0.

The inauguration of this four-digit naming system coincides with this year’s launch by Peugeot of a new, original and innovative model that will be positioned as an extension of its existing range.

Have you seen the 2004 2004?

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Only the names have been changed: rebranding movie titles

Here is a funny article about the process of rebranding American movie titles with more literal names when the films are exported to other countries. Pretty Woman became I’m Rich But I Like Cheap Prostitutes in Germany and,

On its release in China, Boogie Nights — about a well-endowed porn star — became His Powerful Device Makes Him Famous.

The Piano, the 1993 romantic drama about a mute woman piano player in 19th-century New Zealand, was retitled Wretch! Let Me Chop Off Your Finger.

Never underestimate what a powerful device a name can be….

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