Apple granted patent for “smart garment”

Patently Apple writes that Apple Wins Patent for Smart Garment, and shows this image from Apple’s “smart garment” patent:

Apple smart garment patent

Illustration from Apple's "Smart Garment" patent

What does this “smart garment” (“true shoe”?) do? According to Patently Apple’s analysis of the patent:

A sensor authenticated to a garment transfers information, either wirelessly or wired, to an external data processing device. Such information includes location information, physiometric data of the individual wearing the garment, garment performance and wear data (when the garment is an athletic shoe, for example). The external data processing device can be portable digital media players that are, in turn, in wireless communication with a server computer or other wireless devices. In the real world, Apple’s Patent is associated with Nike + iPod – Though the detail of the running shoe illustrated below actually suggests that Apple and Nike could be working on yet a more sophisticated runner.

[Apple credits Brett Alten and Robert Borchers as the inventors of the Smart Garment (Patent 7,698,101), originally filed in Q1, 2007.]

I guess Apple is “hitting the ground running” in the new smart garment market, working from “the ground up”. So, Wordlabbers, what names would you give to this “smart shoe” (from gum shoe to smart shoe?) and other potential “smart garments”? Use the comments on this post to share your suggestions. And don’t feel under any pressure to offer only good names — the worse the better, as long as they’re funny. We could could call them, “Dumb Names for Smart Garments”. Any takers? If you’re not yet a member of Wordlab, sign up for a free account, and then you can comment here and post to the Forums. Put on your smart garment and let ‘er rip.