Wordlab

Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children.

Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

People, crabmommy is seriously worried.

Are you telling me that someone who calls her kid Track is sufficiently level-headed to have her finger near the nuclear button? And I ask you, if these people get into the White House, what on earth is going to happen to baby names countrywide? Forget Utah and its weirdo baby names, our entire country would go nuts with the newly ordained Palin power monikers: as a result we’d see a nation spawning kids called Hurdle, Liverpool, and whatever-all novel names they can dream up. In short, it’s going to be a baby-naming free-for-all, and I’m not sure our country can handle it.

What would your name be if Sarah Palin was your mother?