All the News That's Fit to Drink

Raising a glass to the Vodkapundit, all I can say is, "We've got news for you."

Ivanabitch Vodka is in trouble with media censors in the United States. They're not bitchin' about the name, but they don't like the pickle in the vodka glass on the brand's billboard advertising. The story broke the other day on the adfreak blog:

According to Empire Communications Group, the ad agency for Ivanabitch, the campaign has now found itself in a pickle (OK, we simply had to throw that in), because Viacom Outdoor and Clear Channel Outdoor have both banned the ads in the brand's launch state of Florida. “These companies interpreted the pickle to be phallic,” said Pete Helow, a seemingly amazed managing partner at Empire, in this release. In fact, accompanying radio ads have also been banned, says the company, because they involve a woman saying she prefers her vodka "with a pickle."

To tell you the truth, I haven't seen a penis in ice cubes since university, when, as a student of Wilson Bryan Key, the author of Subliminal Seduction and other books on Media Sexploitation, I got high marks and graduated cum laude for finding sex in advertising.

Now, in England, where everyone knows that when you say pickle you really mean penis, they're more concerned about mixing vodka with violence than with sex. There, Kalashnikov Vodka is in a bit of a Harvey Nichol, itself. Did you hear the news?

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain's Kalashnikov Joint Stock Vodka says it will be changing the name of its vodka in the UK after campaigners launched a boycott over the brand's military connections.

The powerful Portman Group, an alcohol awareness group that counts drinks giants Diageo and Interbrew UK among its members, said on Thursday the branding could link alcohol with violent behaviour.

A Kalashnikov spokeswoman said: "This is a funky and in-your-face brand, but we don't agree it causes people to take up armed conflict.

"We'll be working with the Portman Group because we have to," she added. "Our vodka will probably continue to be called Kalashnikov around the world, but something different in the UK."

The vodka was launched in Britain last September by the maker of the legendary assault rifle Lieutenant General Mikhail Kalashnikov, who said he wanted to continue the "good name" of his gun.

Kalashnikov invented the rifle after being shot at by German soldiers during World War Two, but it went on to become the weapon of choice for guerrillas and gangsters across the world.

Last week, the Portman Group said it had upheld a complaint against Kalashnikov Vodka and had asked retailers to stop stocking it.

"(We) concluded that a name that primarily evoked an image of a contemporary gun, namely the AK-47, which was one of if not the most widely used firearm in the world, was an unacceptable choice of brand name for an alcoholic drink because it indirectly suggested an association with violent and dangerous behaviour," said the group.

In the United States, there's a constitutional right to a "well-lubricated militia" and the NRA would never stand for such nonsense. What's the problem with these Brits? Have they got a pickle up their arse, er what?